emma and company - Sheila Hocken

  i

  i

  i

  EMMA AND CO.

  By the same author:

  EMMAANDI

  EMMA V.i.P.

  E'.IMA'S STORY

  (for children)

  EMMA AND CO.

  by

  SHEILA HOCKEN

  LONDON

  VICTOR GOLLANCZ LTD

  i983

  copyright (D Sheila Hocken i983

  First Published May i983

  Second Impression May i983

  Published by arrangement with

  Sphere Books Ltd

  British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data

  Hocken, Sheila

  Emma and co.

  i. Blind-Rehabilitation

  Psychological aspects

  i. Title

  362.4'i'09.24 HV i598

  ISBN 0-575-03252-9

  6

  Printed in Great Britain at

  The Camelot Press Ltd, Southampton

  2. Blindnessi

  i

  TO

  my mum, dad and b i other Graham

  ILLUSTRATIONS

  Following page 44

  Don, Sheila and Kerensa with Bracken and -.ling

  (Leicester Mercu~y)

  Shadow, Teak, Buttons, Bracken and Mocha

  (Roger Willgoose)

  Bracken answering the telephone (Rex Features)

  Following page 76

  Bracken leading Emma (Photographers International)

  At the Pro-Dogs Award: Bracken receives the medal for

  Devotion to Duty on Emma's behalf from Leslic Scott

  Ordish (Pro-Dogs)

  Sheila and Bracken with Barbara Woodhouse and the other

  medal winners

  Emma and Bracken wearing their medals (Rex Features)

  Following page io8

  Kerensa and Mocha

  Shadow (Robin Bidgood)

  Shadow and Sheila doing an obedience test

  Shadow and Teak

  The puppy that went to be trained as a guide-dog

  (by permission of the Guide Dogsfor the Blind Association)

  Any photographs not individually credited were taken by Sheila and

  Don Hocken.

  7

  FOREWORD

  i S T I I, L C A N'T help feeling that i am the luckiest person in

  the ,,,-orld. So many wonderful things have happened to me

  in mx~ thirty-odd years on this earth. Most people, i am

  sure, would think I'd been very unlucky in my lifetime. i

  was born into a virtually blind family. Both my parents had

  little sight. My brother, too, couldn't see much and i

  sultered from the same eye defect - hereditary cataracts which,

  of course, caused retina damage. We weren't overendowed

  with money either, but it's not money or sight that

  makes a life, it's the people around you. i was lucky enough

  to have parents who understood what it was like to be

  visually handicapped and were determined that my life

  would be as normal as possible. My father had been away

  to a school for the blind. My mother had spent her life from

  the age of ten on, when she lost her parents, in a children's

  home. So family life, to them, was of paramount

  importance and they were both determined that neither i

  nor Graham, my brother, would be sent away to a special

  school. So i attended the local junior school, Bluebell Hill,

  and went on to a secondary girls' school. There were lots of

  hardships, i don't deny that, but, again, i think i was lucky

  to be faced with those as a child. i learnt how to cope with

  everyday things. i was able to ignore the children who

  called me names like 'Bozz-Eyed' as i made my way to

  school. i never bothered if i walked into a lamp-post or fell

  over things that were left on the pavement. It was just

  normal to me. i couldn't read the blackboard, of course,

  but either someone sitting next to me, or the teacher, would

  fielp me and i got by. Admittedly, i wasn't terribly well

  educated. There was a lot i missed out on at school. But it

  taught me to make the best of what i had.

  9

  i left school in i96i and ~,,,as able to do a job as a

  telephonist. By that time the bit of sight that i had was going

  gradually, and i had to learn Braille. Life as a teenager, i am

  sure, is traumatic for most people. For me it certainly was. i

  was now having to cope with the realities of earning a living

  and getting to and from work. My social life became almost

  non-existent. i had to rely on friends and acquaintances to

  take me out, to go to dances, etc., but it was very difficult to

  fit in with a crowd of sighted teenagers. I'd get left behind,

  literally, walking along the pavement. i became more and

  more afraid of going out and meeting new people, so it was

  much easier to stop in at nights. i dread to think what would

  have happened to me if i hadn't heard about the Guide-Dogs

  for the Blind Association, and met Emma.

  The social worker for the blind advised me to apply for a

  guide-dog. My application was accepted and i went for my

  month's training at the Leamington Spa Guide-Dog Training

  Centre in jtily i966, and there i was given Emma - a

  small, chocolate brown, thick coated Labrador. Even in the

  first few months of our partnership Emma helped me

  tremendously and changed my life. What i didn't realise

  then was how much she was going to give me during the

  following years. Every guide-dog owner I've ever met states

  categorically that they have the best guide-dog that was ever

  trained. There are thousands of blind people in Britain today

  who rely completely on their dogs to take them to work, to

  take them out to do the shopping, and to help them lead as

  normal a social life as possible. Being blind is a terrible

  handicap, for Man, above all creatures, is a very visual

  animal. But nearly every blind person I've ever met,

  especially those with guide-dogs, accept their lot and make

  the best of it, and try to pretend that outside there isn't a

  visual world at all. It makes the struggle for equality a lot

  easier that way and, with the aid of a guide-dog, every blind

  person has mobility.

  My first year with Emma as my guide-dog was full of

  exciting discoveries, the main one being that i was safe with

  her: she would take me through the busy streets of Notting

  io

  ham to find the place where i worked; she would find bus

  stops for me, and when we got on the bus she'd find me an

  empty scat; she learnt the names of all the shops i needed to

  go to; she would find a letter-box or telephone box on request

  and she always remembered that a zebra crossing was by far

  the safest place to cross a road. Not only did i discover

  freedom, i made lots of friends and had a social life at last.

  Because i had Emma, i could go to evening classes, and i did

  courses in the Writer's Craft (short story writing, etc.),

  Make-up and Beauty, and
Dressmaking. One of the many

  friends i made was Anita, whom i met at the Writer's Class,

  and we shared a flat together for two years. i needed my

  independence. i needed to be like other girls of my age, and

  sharing a flat was a step in the right direction. And then i

  met Don, my husband-to-be, actually over the telephone,

  through another blind friend of mine, George Miller.

  i had met George originally through Radio Nottingham.

  He ran a programme especially for blind people and i had

  done quite a few programmes for him - about guide-dogs, of

  course. Don and i fell in love immediately but it was quite a

  few years before we were able to settle down and get married,

  for Don had a broken marriage to sort out. But what would i

  have done without Emma? Emma was the one who always

  took me out to meet Don, who i felt secure with. i didn't have

  to rely on other people, for Emma was always reliable,

  always keen to go wherever i wanted. As if that wasn't

  enough luck in my life - meeting Emma and then Don - i

  was to have something else wonderful happen to me.

  i had, of course, been to many eye specialists in the past

  and, as children, both my brother and i had eye operations,

  but none of them had worked, until Graham and i heard of a

  Mr Shearing who was perfecting a new type of operation to

  remove congenital cataracts. Although Mr Shearing had

  offered to try to help me get a little bit of sight, he was very

  dubious and suggested that even if he did the operation and

  it was successful, i would still need a guide-dog. But i

  decided to have the operation. Anything was better than

  nothing, and i went into hospital in September i975. And i

  I I

  came out, ten days later, with sight, to a new and beautiful,

  colourful world. That happened seven years ago, and i wrote

  about it in my first book Emma and i, but i still thrill at the

  sight i have. To wake up in the morning and to see the sun

  shining. To see the rain glistening on the leaves. To look

  forward with excitement to watching the snow fall in winter

  and the dafrodils coming up in spring, and i am always out in

  the garden when it rains and there is a touch of sunshine, just

  in the hope of seeing a rainbow.

  And then, as i related in my second book Emma V.I.P.,

  Don and i were blessed with a baby daughter, Kerensa. We

  both knew that there was a 50-50 chance that she would be

  blind, but after much thought and discussion we decided to

  take that chance and, again, we were very lucky. Kerensa

  has perfect sight. So you see why i feel i am one of the most

  fortunate people in the world - to have had so much in so

  little time! And it was Emma who gave me all this: she

  opened the door to freedom. i have always loved dogs. In

  fact, one of my earliest memories, as a child, is of me wanting

  to go and stroke every dog and my mother warning me not to

  and trying to pull me away in case they bit. But she never

  changed my affection for those lovely creatures, and Emma

  cemented that bond forever. i am sometimes afraid of how

  much i respect and love all the dogs around me. i could

  never live without one close by me. For almost ten years I

  relied solely upon Emma, not only for my eyes but as a very

  close friend. Emma has retired now. She retired at the age of

  eleven, after my successful operation, and it's my pleasure to

  take her for a walk, to see her running about the fields and

  enjoying herself and, whatever happens to us both in the

  future, there will always be a part of Emma inside me.

  i2

  EMMA AND CO.

  CHAPTER ONE

  IT WAS CHRISTMAs Eve. Don, Kerensa, myself and, of

  course, Emma had gone to visit my parents. It was a ritual:

  we always went there for tea on Christmas Eve. Kerensa was

  just two and beginning to take an interest in what was

  happening around her. It was very exciting, not only for her

  but for me as well. Seeing her face light up with excitement at

  Christmas trees and pointing out the pictures of Santa

  Claus, i was reliving my childhood Christmasses - but this

  time with my sight. Then half-way through tea, i suddenly

  remembered I'd left the pan of dog meat on the stove.

  'Oh no!' i groaned aloud and dropped my knife and fork. i

  looked across at Don.

  'What's the matter, petal?'

  'I think I've left the dog meat pan on. Oh dear, what are

  we going to do?'

  It wouldn't have been so bad if Bracken and Buttons

  hadn't been shut in the kitchen at home. They were our two

  new dogs. Buttons had joined us in the September and

  Bracken, who had been a birthday present to me from Don,

  in the October. Buttons was just over a year old and Bracken

  was coming up for three months. We'd decided not to take

  them on our usual Christmas Eve visit. Mum and Dad quite

  like dogs, but they aren't that keen.

  'Are you sure you've left it on?' Don asked me.

  'Pretty sure.' i panicked instantly. i had visions of the

  house being on fire and Bracken and Buttons being burnt to

  death. Thank God we hadn't left Emma, i thought.

  'I'd better go back and have a look.' Don, always cool,

  calm and practical.

  'I'll come with you.' i got up before he could say no and

  put my coat on.

  i r,

  'No, petal. You stop here. What about Kerensa? Stay

  and keep her occupied. You can't leave her with your

  Mum and Dad.'

  'But i must come. Something might have happened to

  the dogs.'

  'No, no. You stop here. i can get there just as fast

  without you.'

  'Well, ring me when you get back, and hurry up.'

  'I will, i will. Now don't panic. We haven't been gone

  that long. It should be all right.'

  As soon as Don had closed the front door behind him i

  began to panic even more. i could imagine the house on

  fire and i could see hordes of fire-engines streaming down

  Nottingham Road, Stapleford. Oh, Bracken and Buttons

  ... please God that they were all right. i went back into

  the dining room where Mum and Dad and my brother,

  Graham, were still eating tea. Poor Mum, being deaf,

  hadn't heard what had happened and, as far as she was

  concerned, Don had just put his knife and fork down in

  the middle of his tea and gone.

  'What's the matterwith him?'she asked as shecameoverto

  me. i explained. 'Thank goodness for that,' she said. 'I

  thought you'd had a row and he'd walked out and left you.'

  That made me laugh, even in the middle of my panic.

  Don and i having a row? That was unheard of! 'What am

  i going to do?' i kept saying to Mum. 'I wish I'd gone

  with him. i know - I'll ring Betty.' Betty was one of those

  friends you can always rely on. She lives round the corner

  from us and no matter what the crisis rl rig Betty!

  'Betty, it's me. I'm at my Mum's. i think I've left a pan

  of meat on at home . . . you could probably get round

  quicker
than Don, he's just left.'

  'Where's the key?' Betty asked.

  'There isn't one!'

  'Well, how am i going to get in then?'

  'You can't,' i said.

  'What's the point of me going then?'

  'At least vou can see if the place is on fire," i said, 'and if it

  i6

  is full of smoke, break the window and let Bracken and

  Buttons out. Oh, Betty, please go. It won't take you long.'

  'All right, all right. Don't worry.'

  'If you see Don, tell him to ring me, won't you?'

  'Yes, i will. Don't worry, I'll go straight away.'

  Mum sat watching the television. Dad sat in the chair

  thinking, as usual ... of things like the next song he was

  going to compose. Graham, my brother, was keeping

  Kerensa entertained on the carpet with a little doll he had

  bought her for Christmas. Emma, unconcerned as usual,

  was curled up in front of the gas fire. But i couldn't sit still. i

  had to pace the floor, fingers crossed, brain trying to block

  out what might have happened to Bracken and Buttons. i

  have always had a phobia about losing a chiid or a dog in a

  fire and I was beginning to believe it had been a foresight.

  Then after what seemed an age, the phone rang. It was Don.

  'Oh, thank goodness! Have you saved them?'

  'Yes, I've saved them. You hadn't left the pan of meat on.'

  'Oh dear!' i was glad i hadn't, of course, but i felt rather

  stupid having insisted Don left his tea and dashed home. i

  had burnt a hole in three dog meat pans in the last month. i

  was thinking of turning professional. 'They're all right then?'

  'Yes, they're fine, but you should see the state of the

  kitchen.'

  'Why, what's the matter with it?'

  'You know that nice new Cushionfloor Vinolay we had

  put down the other week?'

  'Yes,' i said.

  'Most of it's not there any more. Bracken's torn it up and

  eaten it.'

  'How could he have done that?'

  'And that's not all,' Don interrupted. 'He's eaten a hole in

  the split-level cooker.'